Roy Brush has aspirations to be a great footballer and this seems likely when he scores for England in the European Cup Final. To add to this he becomes a national hero, having seemingly saved a young lad from drowning. But Roy has a secret - he is gay - and the editor of the scurrilous 'Scum' tabloid is making it his business to out him. However, with the help of his manager, Roy can triumph at an inspirational climactic football match, where his tears touch the heart of the nation - and pundit Jimmy Twizzle gets very high on mushroom tea.
Keith Allen
Roy Brush
Peter Richardson
Kevin
Antony Sher
Scum Editor
Nigel Planer
Club Chairman/Waiter
Paul Moriarty
Club Manager
Simon McBurney
Mick
Sara Stockbridge
Janet
Phil Cornwell
Jimmy Twizzle/Wiggy
William Armstrong
Sports Presenter
Sandra Voe
Roy's Mother
Mark Caven
Dick Wibbly
David Cardy
Trevor Moulton
Gary Beadle
Wazza
Doon Mackichan
Nurse
Jonathan Pearce
Self - Commentator
Terry Sue-Patt
Footballer
Mark Jones
Footballer
Gavin Rossdale
Footballer
Andrée Bernard
Barbie